Aww diet, it's so good to see you again. We have been at odds with one another for the last two weeks and I almost got the best of you, but now all is well again! This weekend was completely therapeutic and much needed! I spent the entire day Saturday in my pj's watching TV, playing on the computer, taking naps, and basically being a HUGE couch potato. I did pretty good on my diet that day despite my lack of movement and stayed under 1800 calories. Amazingly I was still tired enough to sleep Saturday night and awoke Sunday morning ready for life! We had a great service at church and even treated ourselves to all you can eat spaghetti for lunch. I behaved myself and had a cup of soup, 1 1/2 pieces of garlic bread and about 1/4 of my small plate of spaghetti. In true Sunday fashion, we went home and took a little nap! I've slept more this weekend than the past week put together! After my lazy day yesterday I felt the need to be a bit more productive so I did several loads of laundry, rearranged my closet and moved my winter clothes out and my spring/summer clothes back in. We attended evening church again and when we got home I whipped up some braised artichokes and baked asparagus with a little hollandaise sauce. Then for a treat for the hubby I made a blackberry pie with some fresh blackberries that were on sale at the store this week. All in all, it was a splendid weekend and I cheated a bit and let myself eat a bit more fat than usual, but kept my calories around 1800 a day.
All in all, I only gained back 3 pounds from my little binge the last couple of weeks although if I was guessing I'd say I lost a pound of muscle because I haven't worked out either. Tomorrow is a new week, a new day, and little less than 7 weeks until the cruise!! My goal is to try and lose at least 10 pounds before the cruise and fit back into a little black dress I bought back in high school and wore once or twice. I tried it on today and was able to zip it, but it was less than flattering. It's going to take at least 10 pounds and a new pair of spanx to get that baby looking great and I'm up for it!! Now all I need is prayers for tomorrow as I hit my first boot camp workout in a little over 2 weeks. I'm going to be sooooo sore!!
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Down in the dumps and taking my diet with me
As with any journey, there are ups such as the 5 pound weight loss my first week and there are downs, such as gaining most of that back over the past 2 weeks. I haven't worked out in 2 weeks. I haven't stayed under 1500 calories in 2 weeks and I seem to have no motivation to do anything other than what is necessary. I've told myself it's ok, I'm depressed about the loss of my grandmother and I deserve a break while I work through my emotions and while I'm traveling back and forth to be with my family. The funeral is tomorrow and when you spend the whole day crying, saying your final goodbyes, and celebrating the life of a loved one, it is inevitable that bad food choices will likely arise. I have no idea what the church will have in the way of food for lunch or what people will bring for supper that night, but if it's anything like the foods that we had just after her passing, it will be a battle.
My dilemma is that I'm battling between giving in to my depression and continuing this downward spiral for yet another day. I know I shouldn't. I know that eating badly and not exercising has a huge effect on me. It just aids in making me more depressed, makes me feel bad physically, and drastically changes my mood and mind set. Yet, it's easy, there is a component of it that makes you feel briefly better and at the moment I have what seems like a viable excuse to give in. AHHHH!!!!
Staying on track is just so difficult. Even when you desire it and even when you enjoy all of what it brings to your life. I'm hoping that this is my lowest point in this journey for awhile, but as with all journey's it's not always pretty. I hope that in sharing this you can all see your own struggles and know that you are certainly NOT alone. Even health freaks that count every calorie and organize exercise programs for themselves and their co workers/friends can find themselves spiraling out of control. Here's to a new day, a new start, and spending the day celebrating my sweet Gmom and not wallowing in my own depression for my personal loss of a friend, role model, comedian, sister in Christ, and wonderful grandmother!
My dilemma is that I'm battling between giving in to my depression and continuing this downward spiral for yet another day. I know I shouldn't. I know that eating badly and not exercising has a huge effect on me. It just aids in making me more depressed, makes me feel bad physically, and drastically changes my mood and mind set. Yet, it's easy, there is a component of it that makes you feel briefly better and at the moment I have what seems like a viable excuse to give in. AHHHH!!!!
Staying on track is just so difficult. Even when you desire it and even when you enjoy all of what it brings to your life. I'm hoping that this is my lowest point in this journey for awhile, but as with all journey's it's not always pretty. I hope that in sharing this you can all see your own struggles and know that you are certainly NOT alone. Even health freaks that count every calorie and organize exercise programs for themselves and their co workers/friends can find themselves spiraling out of control. Here's to a new day, a new start, and spending the day celebrating my sweet Gmom and not wallowing in my own depression for my personal loss of a friend, role model, comedian, sister in Christ, and wonderful grandmother!
Monday, April 11, 2011
Starting Over Yet Again
It's been a week since I updated my blog and so much as happened in that time. On Tuesday afternoon we recieved a call that it wouldn't be long until my grandmother passed. I found someone to cover my last period class and got to our home town as quickly as possible. We all gathered together and waited, and waited, and waited, and waited. My grandmother lasted another 36 hours after they gave her the few short hours to live. She was such a fighter even until the end. I sat by here side all but just a few of those 36 hours and in that exhausting time, dieting certainly went out the window and grief came in. Over the next few days there was lots of food brought to the house and tons of unhealthy goodies to help us cope with our loss. In my grief and my stress I just let myself go and ate whatever I wanted. I also had class which of course added it's own stress and the need to eat out while in another town. Overall, I gained about half my weight loss back over the past week and a half. Some of which was expected after the detox and the rest due to my grief stricken binge. I'm still in grief mode a bit, the funeral is Wednesday and with that will come more food and more temptations, as well as more time to think about our loss. Until then, I'm not going overly crazy with my diet, but am trying to stay within my calorie range and not let grief get the best of me. We all know food doesn't change things, but it's hard to tell yourself that when you're missing a loved one!
It's time to start over again, thank goodness I'm not back to square one, just back a few stumbling steps and then we can begin this journey again. Nothing too great to report today, just pretty basic foods such as cereal, a wrap and chips, a non fat chai tea, some shrimp, and then a pretty great spinach quiche. So here is the quiche recipe, I haven't had time to calculate calories, but I did alter a previous recipe I formulated and made it healtheir without sacrificing the taste.
Egg White Spinach Quiche
1 package of creamed spinach
1/2 pound of turkey bacon
1/4 onion chopped and sauteed in bacon drippings
1 pie crust (I like the cheapest ones best)
1/2 cup of shredded swiss
1/3 cup of egg whites
1/2 cup of skim milk
1/4 cup of low fat ricotta cheese
2 T. of flour
Line pie pan with crust and spread ricotta on the bottom. Then cook turkey bacon in pan on stove. Add onions when you're done and saute in the drippings. Combine, egg whites, bacon, spinach, onions, milk, swiss cheese, and flour. Stir together until mixed and pour into dish. Cook on 375 for 30-35 minutes or until cooked. I've also used a similiar recipe but with greek yogurt instead of ricotta and sharp cheddar instead of swiss. Both ways are pretty yummy!!
It's time to start over again, thank goodness I'm not back to square one, just back a few stumbling steps and then we can begin this journey again. Nothing too great to report today, just pretty basic foods such as cereal, a wrap and chips, a non fat chai tea, some shrimp, and then a pretty great spinach quiche. So here is the quiche recipe, I haven't had time to calculate calories, but I did alter a previous recipe I formulated and made it healtheir without sacrificing the taste.
Egg White Spinach Quiche
1 package of creamed spinach
1/2 pound of turkey bacon
1/4 onion chopped and sauteed in bacon drippings
1 pie crust (I like the cheapest ones best)
1/2 cup of shredded swiss
1/3 cup of egg whites
1/2 cup of skim milk
1/4 cup of low fat ricotta cheese
2 T. of flour
Line pie pan with crust and spread ricotta on the bottom. Then cook turkey bacon in pan on stove. Add onions when you're done and saute in the drippings. Combine, egg whites, bacon, spinach, onions, milk, swiss cheese, and flour. Stir together until mixed and pour into dish. Cook on 375 for 30-35 minutes or until cooked. I've also used a similiar recipe but with greek yogurt instead of ricotta and sharp cheddar instead of swiss. Both ways are pretty yummy!!
Monday, April 4, 2011
Abandon ship!
So much has happened in the few days that I have neglected to post! I will let you know that I put in a great showing at the FCA Girls Retreat. Despite being in charge of the snack room, which consisted of brownies, cookies, rice crispies, more cookies and brownies, and chips, I was able to go the entire night without cheating! No pizza, no sweets, just some veggies and fruit from the trays that were available and a bit of leftover lemon basil and spinach pasta. Well i did have a bit of light ranch dressing with the vegetables, but if that's the worst you do when surrounded by literally pounds of junk food, that's not too shabby.
Saturday came with a new challenge. As my husband and I traveled to my home town to spend what we were scared might be the last meeting with my grandmother, we packed some lentil soup, brown rice crackers, and a couple of bananas. We made it through that day pretty well and then came home and I make us some Parmesan zucchini and baked asparagus. That evening when I talked with my mom she was very concerned about my grandmother. She was up all night in pain, talking to my deceased grandfather, and going on and Heaven and hell. All of which are generally signs of near death. We decided to go to bed and get up the next morning and go back. This time, without any quick foods to take with us, we made a conscious decision that we would "cheat" a bit and grab a veggie sub at subway for lunch and then be home in time for dinner and for me to cook.
To say the least it was a rough day. All day long my grandmother was sitting up and then falling back, every time she pulled up she would ask to be shot and put out of her misery or would make other awful remarks. When I'd ask what I could to do help she would go on about how ridiculous this was and that she just wanted to die. She generally made little sense other than her rambling about wishing for death. It was awful to watch, but I wouldn't give up holding her hand or the occasion joke she would make in a second of peace. As I left, knowing likely this would be the last time I would see her, I kissed her face and told her I loved her and she said I love you Cienna. As of today, she is still with us and is finally resting easier as they have finally found the right dosage of pain medications and have started to give them to her more frequently. If you're the praying type, please keep our family in your prayers! It's only been a few short months since we buried my grandfather, her husband.
Well after that stressful weekend and certainly an emotional day, I was in no mood to cook and mainly wanted some comfort food. My husband was much too eager to give in and after a long discussion we decided to abandon ship on the detox for the mean time. It was great, I can't wait to do it again, but with an impending funeral, graduate classes this weekend out of town, and a few other stressors, we felt like excessive food preparation wasn't one more stress we needed at the moment. So, we ate a bit of Mexican food and topped it off with some ice cream. (Just for future reference, don't do this, I was sicker than a dog today with low blood sugar, headache, stomach and general yuckiness. You should slowly integrate foods and not jump head first because you're starving from a week of nothing but fruits and veggies!)
Despite our abandoning the detox we did have some great results from this week. I lost 3 pounds putting my total weight loss up to 8 pounds since my adventure started and my husband lost 5 pounds putting him at a weight he hadn't seen since high school! We do expect to gain a pound or two back as we acclimate to normal foods again, but my goal is still to lose at least 20, so I'm slowly but surely closing in on the halfway mark! I'll try to be better about posting daily this week, but if all else fails I'll try to do some bi or tri weekly updates!!
Saturday came with a new challenge. As my husband and I traveled to my home town to spend what we were scared might be the last meeting with my grandmother, we packed some lentil soup, brown rice crackers, and a couple of bananas. We made it through that day pretty well and then came home and I make us some Parmesan zucchini and baked asparagus. That evening when I talked with my mom she was very concerned about my grandmother. She was up all night in pain, talking to my deceased grandfather, and going on and Heaven and hell. All of which are generally signs of near death. We decided to go to bed and get up the next morning and go back. This time, without any quick foods to take with us, we made a conscious decision that we would "cheat" a bit and grab a veggie sub at subway for lunch and then be home in time for dinner and for me to cook.
To say the least it was a rough day. All day long my grandmother was sitting up and then falling back, every time she pulled up she would ask to be shot and put out of her misery or would make other awful remarks. When I'd ask what I could to do help she would go on about how ridiculous this was and that she just wanted to die. She generally made little sense other than her rambling about wishing for death. It was awful to watch, but I wouldn't give up holding her hand or the occasion joke she would make in a second of peace. As I left, knowing likely this would be the last time I would see her, I kissed her face and told her I loved her and she said I love you Cienna. As of today, she is still with us and is finally resting easier as they have finally found the right dosage of pain medications and have started to give them to her more frequently. If you're the praying type, please keep our family in your prayers! It's only been a few short months since we buried my grandfather, her husband.
Well after that stressful weekend and certainly an emotional day, I was in no mood to cook and mainly wanted some comfort food. My husband was much too eager to give in and after a long discussion we decided to abandon ship on the detox for the mean time. It was great, I can't wait to do it again, but with an impending funeral, graduate classes this weekend out of town, and a few other stressors, we felt like excessive food preparation wasn't one more stress we needed at the moment. So, we ate a bit of Mexican food and topped it off with some ice cream. (Just for future reference, don't do this, I was sicker than a dog today with low blood sugar, headache, stomach and general yuckiness. You should slowly integrate foods and not jump head first because you're starving from a week of nothing but fruits and veggies!)
Despite our abandoning the detox we did have some great results from this week. I lost 3 pounds putting my total weight loss up to 8 pounds since my adventure started and my husband lost 5 pounds putting him at a weight he hadn't seen since high school! We do expect to gain a pound or two back as we acclimate to normal foods again, but my goal is still to lose at least 20, so I'm slowly but surely closing in on the halfway mark! I'll try to be better about posting daily this week, but if all else fails I'll try to do some bi or tri weekly updates!!
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